Winter

In shadows hide my ambitions as the winter grows as does the cold
and all good things must come to an end everyone knows
sometimes even before they have begun
how much time have I wasted
pursuing the wrong things
like dust storms across
stubble fields going
no where
waiting
for
my ship
that never
comes in, who
taught us to believe
in ourselves, was it only
because we didn’t know the odds
without the ignorance and arrogance
of youth would we be courageous enough
to dare to try anything new; as we age we just
sit in our fox holes and trenches waiting for godot
or the bombs to fall, for our plumbing to break apart
for the walls we have spent a life time building to come
down and then like a moth from its cocoon our naked souls
to return to the unknown and what of all our hopes and prayers
and aspirations vanished into thin air ignored by everyone around us
it’s just a crabby old fart muttering to himself like the old stroke survivor
in rehab who once motioned me over to his wheel chair and whispered “hey
you’ve got to get me out of here” and when I said “I can’t” seized my neck and
proceeded to strangle me until the head nurse hauled him off and told me after
that the old man in his youth had had a very successful dental practice, well
a career drilling holes in the teeth of smelly mouths would be enough
to drive anyone crazy despite how much money it made I think
no wonder most of the dentists I know around her are surfers
in their time off, to keep your eyes from going near sighted
you have to spend some time looking at the horizon
I am told but who around here can tell me how
to get back to trance and altered states
not on line dates with total strangers
I want to expand my awareness
where is my Saddhu, my guru,
my shaman, my sheik how
bloody boring consumerism
while the list of endangered
species grows including
our imaginations